


It Was An Accident

by omnisan



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, I'm a sucker for happy endings, I'm not sure what to tag this, M/M, McGenji - Freeform, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Prompt Fic, Sorta didn't follow prompt oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 00:49:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10978896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omnisan/pseuds/omnisan
Summary: From the Vinewood Log Line Generator in GTAV:When a sex-obsessed country music star mistakenly drowns the mailman in a bathtub, he must team up with a naive conspiracy theorist and part time furry and take on a knife throwing murderous soccer mom to win back the love of his disabled high school sweetheart.





	It Was An Accident

After an all nighter of recording his latest country album in his home studio, Jesse McCree wanted one thing, and one thing only: some tail. He couldn't get enough. He'd had his eye on the mail carrier lately, but never got the chance to say hello, let alone ask her out. 

But today he was ready. He sat on the front porch, two coffees in hand, as he waited for the elusive postal worker. Dark hair made its way from around the corner and Jesse felt his heart skip a beat, only to slump back down in realization it was simply his weird neighbor. His neighbor, Hanzo Shimada, believed the US president was a clone, aliens are on Earth and abducting and manipulating humans, and above all, the Illuminati. Even weirder, Jesse dated Hanzo's younger brother, Genji, back in highschool. 

Before Jesse could reminisce or wonder what ever happened to Genji, the real reason he was waiting outside finally made her appearance. He walked the six steps to his mailbox, meeting the mail carrier there.

“Howdy. Name's Jesse McCree. I don't think we've been properly introduced.” Jesse flashed his perfect, white smile. “I brought you a coffee.” 

“Fareeha Amari.” She returned the smile. “Thanks, but I don't drink coffee.” 

Jesse frowned as she busied herself with placing his mail in the mailbox. Without another word, she began to walk to the next house. 

“Wait!” Jesse called out.

“I can make you tea real quick or somethin’. Whatever you like.” 

“Sorry, I have a job to do.”

“Five minutes won't hurt right?” 

“Maybe tomorrow. I'll come early.” 

Jesse flashed her another smile before she continued on her route of mail delivery. Jesse sat back on the porch, finishing off his coffee as he watched Fareeha cross the road and deliver mail to the rest of the residents. 

He could see Angela, the ever busy soccer mom with four adopted children, rush down the steps to her front porch and meet Fareeha, just as he did mere minutes ago, but much more frantically. Her youngest, Hana, cried in her arms despite the fact she was already five years old. Angela seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as a specific letter came, before yelling at her three others, Jamison, Lúcio, and Lena, to stop playing in the road. 

To Jesse, he was living in a neighborhood full of weirdos. Two college girls whom he didn't actually know names of, never seemed to leave their house. He rarely caught glimpses of purple, only to blink and have them disappear. An older German man who was half blind would stop you if he saw you and tell you one of his famous war stories which seemingly went on for hours. 

Jesse finished his coffee, too slow to drink the other, now cold, coffee, and decided to go take a very long nap. The all nighter wore him down, but he was excited at the thought of Fareeha stopping by the next morning. It was all he could dream about. 

 

“I don't have a lot of tea. Do you like sun tea?” Jesse asked as he tried to recall the beverages he had. 

“Sun tea sounds wonderful.” 

Just as she said, Fareeha came earlier than usual, just for tea. In fact, she delivered everyone else's mail before Jesse, so she has at least one road completed before she took an unsolicited break. 

“Do you make music?” Fareeha asked, pointing to Jesse's guitar.

“I sure do. I'm quite a big country singer. Just finished my latest album, in fact.” 

“Impressive. I guess I've never heard anything you've made. I prefer classic rock.” 

“If you want to come back sometime, I can play you something.” Jesse smiled.

He had to be patient with this one, lure her in, then strike at the right moment. 

You would do that?” She asked after sipping the last of her tea. “Do you mind if I use your restroom before finishing my route?” 

Before Jesse knew it, a small conversation led to more time than he thought pass by. Fareeha stayed as long as she could, but had a job to do. 

Jesse pointed down the hall, “Second door on the right.” 

Within a minute, Jesse heard a loud thud, but played it off. It's not like he hasn't accidentally bumped into something before. When five minutes passed, Jesse started to get concerned. 

Walking toward the bathroom, “Uh, Fareeha, do you need more toilet paper or something?” 

Silence from the other side of the door followed. At first, Jesse thought perhaps she was too embarrassed to speak up, but as another three minutes went by, Jesse's concern turned into worry. 

“Fareeha, I'm coming in if you don't say anything.” 

On a count to three, he barged through the door to find Fareeha not on the toilet, but in the bathtub full of water. Stunned, Jesse couldn't make a move. That is, until the doorbell rang. Unsure of what to do, he closed the bathroom door before gathering himself to answer the front door. 

“Hello Jesse.” Hanzo said, dressed in a wolf fursuit, stunning Jesse even more. “It seems I have gotten some of your mail and I just wanted to return it before I leave for my convention.” 

Jesse quickly looked up and down the road before grabbing onto Hanzo and pulling him into his house.

“Hanzo, I need your help.” 

 

“Hm…” Hanzo hummed at the situation.

Jesse fretted, looking from the body in his bathtub to the furry next to him. “What do I do?” 

“We can't call the police. They're too connected to the government. And the government is full of them.” 

Jesse was confused at Hanzo's babbling. “Full of who?” 

“The aliens.” 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

“This is all a plot by the aliens themselves to take over the world.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jesse asked. 

Hanzo hurried to lock and close the blinds on all the windows and doors. He was speaking crazy in Jesse's eyes, and the fursuit didn't help the situation. 

“First we have to get rid of the body.” Hanzo began as he paced the living room. 

“How do we do that?” 

“We could burn it.” 

“Oh jeez.” Jesse worried. “I don't wanna have that in the back of my mind for the rest of my life.” 

“We could leave it someplace public. Someone else will stumble upon it and we don't have to deal with it. No one will know we were involved.” 

“That's…a good idea. But where would we put it?” 

“The lake?” Hanzo suggested.

“The lake,” Jesse deadpanned, “In the park, surrounded by the busiest part of the city. Are you nuts?” 

Hanzo shrugged. Jesse had no better ideas and had to roll with whatever Hanzo threw down. Two pairs of gloves and an extra large cooler later, the two had successfully stuffed Fareeha’s body into the cooler and onto Jesse's truck for transport. Phase two was now beginning. 

 

“Why do you even have a cooler this big?” Hanzo asked with labored breaths as he pushed the cooler. 

“I'm a star. I have to know how to entertain. Also, I can drink a lot. It's important to have the necessary space.” Jesse said as he pulled the cooler.

So far, no one had seemed suspicious of their extremely large cooler. From the outside, they were just two dudes, a cowboy and a furry, making their way through the park to have a good time drinking with assumed friends. 

“Dare I ask how you're so comfortable walking around in public with a fursuit on?” Jesse asked, finally getting to something that had been on his mind.

“I heard people dress up as their spirit animal to better understand who they are and connect with others.” 

“If we weren't in these conditions, I'd be laughing my ass off right now.” 

“Why?” Hanzo asked.

“I think someone gave you the wrong information, partner.” 

“Oh, hello boys!” Angela called out as she strode up to the two with Hana, much too old to be in a stroller. 

Jesse started to sweat, but Hanzo remained calm and collected, taking the situation in his hands. 

“Hello Ms. Ziegler, how are you today?” 

“Oh, you know. Busy, busy. Say, have you seen Fareeha anywhere? Our mail carrier? We were supposed to meet for lunch today.” 

“Why?” Jesse finally spoke up.

Angela looked behind her shoulder before leaning in, despite this part of the park to be nearly empty, “Fareeha and I have been, you know, in a partnership for a while.” 

“I hope you're doing well in your job. I didn't know you did anything in addition to the hospital work.” 

Angela laughed, “Oh, Hanzo, you're silly. Well I'll let you boys do whatever you're doing. I'm going to finish my walk and call Fareeha. I'm starting to get worried.” 

Angela started walking away, and the two got back to work, immediately pushing the cooler into the water. Slowly it moved away from the shore, water even more slowly filling the inside to sink it. Then a phone rang. Angela stopped walking, turning back to Jesse and Hanzo. 

“What's in the cooler, boys?” She asked sternly. 

“Hanzo, ain't you late for that furry convention? Let me drive you.” 

They began to back away from the growing situation. Before they could blink, a knife flew by Jesse, grazing his ear. He looked at Angela to see a fire in her eyes and more knives in her hands. Where did those even come from?

“You killed Fareeha!?” Angela shrieked, catching the attention of those in the near vicinity. 

“Angie, I didn't do anything. It was an accidental suicide.” 

Another knife flew by, this time cutting Hanzo's shoulder. 

“One doesn't accidentally commit suicide. You killed my girlfriend!” 

More knives flew by, Jesse and Hanzo separating and ducking for cover. Angela roared with anger, alerting even more people in the park. Hana, who had been playing a handheld game, now cheered Angela on in the background. 

“Ang, calm down.” Jesse called from behind a tree.

“What do we do now?” Hanzo asked. 

“I have a plan.” 

Hanzo distracted Angela, buying Jesse time to sneak around and get closer to her without her knowing. 

“Woah there!” Jesse said, flinging a handful of sand from his pocket right into her face. 

For the moment she was blinded, stumbling as she rubbed her eyes to regain eyesight. Except she couldn't. Hana started crying. Jesse and Hanzo took it as their sign to leave before attracting any more attention. With one last look, the cooler had finally sunk to the bottom of the lake. 

“Let's get out of here.” 

 

After the incident, Jesse and Hanzo decided to pack up and leave town. Angela would have surely contacted the police on them by now. They were wanted men. News of the park incident, both of the cooler containing Fareeha and the spat with Angela had been all over the news and internet. It was the most exciting thing that happened in that town recently. 

As Jesse drove along the road to wherever, he thought of Genji again. He could ask Hanzo about him, but he hesitated. 

“Hey Han?”

The other man was reading a book about the 1969 moon landing, how it was simply created in a studio. He barely looked up from it, humming in question. 

“What happened to Genji after high school?” 

Hanzo bookmarked his page before closing the book with a sigh. “I wondered when that question would come up.” 

Jesse glanced at Hanzo, who solemnly gazed at the road ahead. He remained silent for a moment, the only audible sound was another sigh before he began.

“After we graduated, Genji and I returned to Hanamura to visit our father but…” Hanzo trailed off, leaving Jesse to imagine the worst of scenarios.

“I was driving and we got into an accident. Genji suffered the worst.” 

“Jesus, what happened?” Jesse asked.

“It was a car crash. I lost my lower legs, but was lucky enough to get prosthetics. But Genji…” 

“He’s not dead, is he?” Jesse feared.

“Heavens, no.” Hanzo said, Jesse letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. “Genji also lost his lower legs and right arm. Most of what was left of him left him paralyzed. He now only has function to his head and left arm.”

Jesse could barely imagine the situation, let alone the pain Genji must have suffered. 

“So where is he now?” 

“You want to see him.” Hanzo stated, a chuckle following. “If there's one thing I'm sure about, it’s that he misses you too.”

 

Hanzo unlocked the door and walked in, Jesse following a step behind him. 

“Genji!” Hanzo called out as he peeked into the kitchen.

“In here!” Genji replied from the other room.

Jesse silently watched as Hanzo made his way around the house to find his brother. Was he ready for this? The two talked for a moment before Jesse walked around the corner, holding his breath. Genji, who was mid sentence, stopped when his eyes landed on Jesse. 

“Is that you Jesse McCree?” He nearly whispered. 

“Genji.” Jesse breathed. 

Genji sat in a wheelchair, dark eyes staring back at Jesse in silence. Hesitantly, Jesse stepped forward before Genji pushed Hanzo out of the way to meet Jesse halfway. Their empty hands reached for each other longingly. 

“You still dress like a cowboy.” Genji laughed, killing Jesse with his smile. 

“And you're…”

“Disabled.” 

Jesse frowned, “You never called me.” 

“I didn't think you'd still be interested after everything.” 

“I'd never not be.” 

Hanzo coughed with a smile, “Get a room.” 

Genji's own smile grew as he side-eyed Hanzo. 

“So,” He said as he wheeled over to the TV, turning it on, “I see you guys caused some trouble.” 

“We didn't do anything.” Hanzo said. 

Genji raised an eyebrow. “I think it's pretty badass. I take it you guys need a place to stay now?” 

“Unless we want to be runaways forever.” Jesse said.

“You can stay here.” 

“Are you sure?” Hanzo asked.

“Well, unless you want to pull a me and leave and never call again. Sure.” 

Jesse didn't take the joke well until Genji smiled and laughed. His humor remained the same, just as Jesse remembered him to be. Hanzo offered to get their things from the truck, giving Jesse and Genji a moment alone. 

“Come here Jesse.” Genji said. 

Jesse got on his knees to be at the same level as Genji, who immediately took his hand and put it to his chest. Jesse could feel the man's heart beat. 

“I'm sorry, Jesse.” 

“Genji…” 

“No, I'm really sorry. I didn't think I'd see you again, and now you're here.” Genji's eyes bore into Jesse's own. “Please stay with me.” 

“I won't leave. Ever.”


End file.
